(*One of my husband’s pet names for me is “you rat bastard.” So please understand that when I call you nameless people “bastards” it is a term of affection. Really. That’s just the way I was raised. Get-togethers with my family are interesting affairs, let me tell you.)
So I had just decided that there was NO WAY in hell that I would be able to finish the two Christmas stockings by Christmas. And I had also been thinking that I really needed to haul ass this weekend to make the sock monsters for my niece and nephew, plus finish the Scholar Collar for my FIL. PLUS the Swat Team kitties. I’m done knitting those, but they take a crapload of finishing. Did I mention that I’m leaving for Chicago on Tuesday? So I need to get all of this stuff (excepting the Christmas stockings, of course) done BEFORE I go. I’m turning into a mad flurry of productivity and exhaustion on my own here.
And then…, this morning, I get this in my mailbox.
Guesss whhhhhaaaattttttttttt……………YOU have been chosen!!
1,2,3,4 I declare a KNITTING WAR…………………………..YOU have been chosen…should you choose to accept this mission, you will receive your orders soon….via your blog….your war will be against another yet fun and famous knitter.
What are the details you say…..to see who can finish ALL Christmas knitting before Christmas……the reward for winning this war you ask……a donation of $5 per winners project to afore mentioned charity of their choice…….anyone wishing to join in must sign in to whomever’s blog they represent by stating “I’M IN” this means they too will meet with every finished project $5 to the charity of winners choice. The secret agents at hand will be keeping track of whose who. I cannot tell you who these 3 people are….well, I could, but then I would have to take all your stash so mum’s the word ‘eh.
So strong warrior……………..do you choose or not!!!!
P.S. If you accept you must post this exact email on your blog with my name blurred out please:) Your instructions will follow with your answer…..we’re waiting…………….
You know the drill:) remember, contributors and myself are to be secret. Well, you could tell, but then we take away your stash in the middle of the night;)
Please respond within 24 hours or this email will self destruct;)
Do I really need this added stress in my life? People watching me? Charity donations at stake? Rushing through Fair Isle stockings when I’ve never done that technique before in my life?
Screw it. I ACCEPT.
I don’t know who my opponent is;
(cue Rocky theme music very softly in the background)
Or what kind of competition I’m up against;
(music growing stronger now)
Or even if the Gods of Fair Isle will chew me up and spit me out like the ground chuck that I am, but…
(Da da da dum da da da da, DA DAAAAAAAAAAA!)
I WILL PREVAIL!