So I work in a public building of a large university. As such, we only have public restrooms. I also work on a floor that contains a very big lecture hall, so there are usually undergrads around. Well, this morning, I went into the closest bathroom, because I had to poop. As I opened the door and walked in, I nearly tripped over this undergrad’s backpack, which was lying right in the middle of the floor. She was a smarmy looking one, too–you know the type. Long curly hair pulled up in a ponytail, school t-shirt, sweat pants, Uggs (Ugh!) and of course, full makeup. So she gives me this look, like “How dare you almost step on my stuff, that I’ve left right in the middle of the floor of this tiny bathroom? Don’t you know that this is my personal space?” But I ignore it, and go into a stall.

Okay, so most of you are women. So you know what happens if you have to poop in a public bathroom–you generally wait for the other person (if there is one) to leave, right? I don’t know why we do this, but those are the rules so there you go. But in this particular case, I was a bit cheesed off at this stupid girl, so I really let it rip. I was grunting! I was plopping! I let out this huuuuge spectacular fart–really, my brothers would be so proud. Needless to say, that girl got the hell out of there. I think she might have even tripped over her own backpack in her haste to leave.

Heh heh heh. That made me very happy. I think it will be a Good Day.