I have an assignment for you today.
It’s not hard, and there’s a potential reward at the end. Let me ‘splain.
So awhile ago, I made this hat.
In all fairness to the a) hat itself; and b) the pattern, it’s not a bad hat. I knit it out of double-stranded Malabrigo worsted, so it’s soft and nice. I did modify the pattern, Elizabeth by Jane Richmond (rav link), a bit–no cables, beaded rib instead of plain. It was just supposed to be a nice slouchy warm hat for those really cold days of winter–the days when my beloved Slouch For All Seasons isn’t warm enough.
Well, it *is* slouchy.
But, I dunno. I just don’t like it. It’s not cute. And it’s a bit too…purple. Maybe I’m getting over the purple thing, I dunno.
It just didn’t turn out the way that I’d hoped.
So when I finished it, a bit ago now, I slipped it on my head and was sad. The blub, noticing my sadness, asked me what was up.
“I just don’t really like this hat,” I said.
“Really?” he said. “Then can I have it?”
I stared at him for a few beats.
“It’s purple,” I finally said.
“So?” he answered.
Then he took it from my unbelieving hands and put it on. After checking himself out in the bathroom mirror, he sashayed back into the living room.
“I think it looks jaunty!” he said.
“Dude,” I said, “you look gay.”
“Do not!” he insisted.
We went back and forth like that for a bit. It didn’t make him look gay, he said, and besides what did I care? He has the right to look gay (even though he doesn’t, he said) if he wants to. I said that I wouldn’t be seen in public with him wearing that hat, because people would think he was my gay boyfriend, not my husband. Blah blah blah. The blub is a stubborn man. He budged from his stance not an inch. But I’m stubborn, too.
“Okay!” I said finally. “What if I let the blog decide?”
And he agreed.
So okay, loyal readers. What do you think? Jaunty?
Or gay Smurf?
And just for the record, that is how he normally wears his hats–pushed up and flopped over. And I guess to be fair, I should post all of the pictures I took of him in the hat, not just the gayest of them all. (Which he did on purpose, by the way. I told him it wouldn’t help his chances much, but apparently he was having too good a time to care.)
Is it just me, or does this last one look like Rosie the Riveter? Just more hairy.
Again, what you say goes. So leave me a comment. Tell me he doesn’t look gay, tell me he does look fruity but I should let him have the hat anyway, tell me to donate it to the women’s shelter, tell me to bury it in the backyard. Whatever the consensus is, I will obey. And here’s something to help you find your voices.
A skein of Louet KidLin laceweight to a commenter selected at random.
250 yards. Color: woodland. Mohair and linen blend. Sigh. I love this yarn, but I have to face the fact that I just can’t knit with it. Let my loss be your gain. Wouldn’t it make a beautiful springtime scarf?
Anyhoo, leave a comment by Friday, February 27th by 11:59 pm EST. I’ll announce the winner, and the verdict, next Sunday.
Okay, go. But please be honest. Even though my humiliation of being seen with this guy in public is in your hands.