1. Shock and Denial
This sweater is okay, right? It’s not too big in the boobs. It’ll block out. I don’t need to rip it. It’s fine. It fits.
The armholes are just perfect, too. Lots of extra room, in case I start lifting weights. Or go into bodybuilding.
2. Pain and Guilt
Dude. This is 3/4 of a sweater. Do you know how long I’ve been working on this? That I put it down LAST YEAR, just to eff it up and have to rip back to about where I started from? FECK!
Oh man! I don’t want to re-knit this. What if I screw it up again? Plus I want to start a NEW sweater, not knit this one over again. Whine! No fair!
3. Anger and Bargaining
Look, you stupid piece of shit sweater–this is your fault. You tricked me! I thought once I got more weight below the bust part, the knitted fabric would pull down more! But it doesn’t! You suck!
Okay. Okay, okay. How about this: I’ll get a push-up bra. One of those that adds…two cup sizes. I’ve always wanted to be a DD.
4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness
I keep spreading you out on my lap. You’re so pretty! Why don’t you fit?
It would be so great if you could just…oh man, I can’t do anything right, can I? It’s just a dumb top-down raglan sleeved sweater! They’re supposed to be easy! But no, I go and screw it up royally. Jeez, is anybody as dumb as me? I tried it on every few rows! How could it possibly not fit?
5. The Upward Turn
So I started a new pair of socks. Barber Pole socks, from the last Twist Collective. (Yarn is Claudia’s Handpaints in grape jelly.) No, I haven’t ripped yet. I’m just…working on the socks. I like how they’re turning out so far. Pretty! I’m not totally worthless. I can do some stuff.
6. Reconstruction and Working Through
So I guess the problem is that four extra stitches I cast on below the arms. If I just rip back to that part, I can fix it.
Actually just above that, so I can make the armholes slightly smaller. I think it’ll work.
7. Acceptance and Hope
Sure it’s a lot of work lost, but I can make it right, actually pretty easily. And it will be better in the end. Perfect, even.
I guess that’s all. Excuse me, I have some frogging to do.