GretelI haz a hat.

Pattern: Gretel, by Ysolda
Yarn: Bartlett Yarns, 2-ply fisherman, 1 skein of oxford; also a bit of Sublime cashmere merino silk for lining (left over from Odessa).
Needles: KP 8 (5 mm) and 3 (3.25 mm)
Begun: January 4
Finished: Many dates, but ultimately January 22
Por: moi
Mods: Didn’t do tubular cast on, lined ribbing with soft stuff

is this what I really look likeI like mah hat.

Okay, so. I’ve been down a long knitting road with this hat. It was dark and twisty, and littered with many snags, thorns, and bushy undergrowth. (Hee! I said bushy!) Yet, we have emerged from the woods successfully. Woo-freakin-hoo. And it’s kinda cute too, eh?

Well, first things first. I initially wanted the slouchy version. According to the pattern, it takes 230 yards for the slouchy version. I had 210 yards. So I technically didn’t have enough yarn for the slouchy. But since when have I let technicalities stop me before? “Pshaw!” I said, and I went for it. And then…I ran out of yarn. No worries, I ripped back to where the pattern diverged for the slouchy and regular versions, and then knit the regular. It’s still pretty slouchy, though, isn’t it?

Gretel backSee dee back of mah hat?

So after I finished knitting and pulling the top closed, I had to go back to the beginning. This is because I’m a silly person. You see, the pattern says to knit the ribbing on needles two sizes smaller than the ones you use for the body of the hat. Did I do this? Of course not. I figured since I was lining the ribbing with a nice, soft yarn that it would be thicker and therefore fit me. Somehow. I guess I thought maybe those fat little stitches could suck in their guts or something. Well, they didn’t, the little bastards. So I had to rip out my cast on edge, unravel back to were the ribbing ended, and reknit on 6s. Does it go without saying that this was a huge pain in the ass? Okay, good. I won’t say it then.

Gretel topI haz an azteticallee pleezen top.

So I finished reknitting the ribbing in the Bartlett yarn. I switched to the Sublime yarn. I did a k2p2 row. I purled a turning row. Then I continued with the k2p2 ribbing, but in reverse. That is, I knit where I should have purled and purled where I should have knit. So it would fit all nicely inside the Bartlett yarn ribbing see? Like a little glove. So to speak. Then I sewed down the live stitches on the inside, then washed it and blocked it. It was very pretty.

Gretel cables
I haz pretty cables.

But pretty didn’t save it. It was still too big.


I actually wore it for a couple of days like that. By like that I mean falling off of my head every time I turned it too fast. It took a particularly cold day and a stiff wind to smack me out of my denial. Unfortunately, it just blew me into another form of denial: I decided to put some elastic on the inside.

Gretel blockingI haz a softeee inside.

“What a great idea!” I thought. “Since I have two layers, I can just slip the elastic in between them! It will be fabulous! It will be beautiful! It will be successful!”


Have you ever worn a hat with elastic on the inside? It’s not very comfortable. I mean it worked, technically. But technical is not often pretty. Very, very far from pretty. The elastic smooshed the hell out of my forehead. By ‘smooshed’ I mean pushed all my skin forward in a wrinkly, foldy mass. I looked like a friggin Shar Pei. So I made the elastic bigger. Then it fell off. So I made it smaller. Then it smooshed my forehead again. So I made it bigger. Repeat ad nauseum until frustration compels you to open the front door and chuck it onto the porch.

After I retrieved it from the porch, I ripped out the ribbing again. Then I reknitted all of the ribbing and lining on 3s. Yup. 3s. It fits now. I iz happee.


Well, mostly.

I do think it’s a little too slouchy. So I guess I’m glad I knit the regular version. But I do find myself thinking that I’d like to knit another. A fitted one. In green, for spring.

Um. Yeah. Maybe I should go knit some mittens instead…